Alton Brown Adventures: Mayonnaise

Andrew and I both hate the mayonnaise you can buy in a grocery store. It seems way too goopy to be good for you and, on top of that, it doesn’t even taste good. It has to be one or the other, right? Jarred mayonnaise just doesn’t cut it.

Sadly, a lot of yummy things require mayonnaise, like tuna salad, or deviled eggs, or really well-made sandwiches. It’s not fair! I’ve tried substitutes like a mix of mustard with just a dollop of mayonnaise, but it really isn’t the same. So, when Andrew said that he’d never had tuna melts before (I mean, seriously. What?), and we had some nice sourdough bread for them, we decided to go one step further and try our hand at making our own mayonnaise. Worst case scenario: we confirm that we don’t like any form of mayonnaise.

However, that didn’t happen, because, as it turns out, homemade mayonnaise (Alton Brown’s version, at the very least) is delicious. Andrew was a little wary of it, because the recipe does call for a raw egg — seriously, what is that jarred stuff actually made out of, because it certainly isn’t a raw egg — we also didn’t have a neutral-flavored oil, but we were making it specifically for some tuna salad, so we thought that using olive oil would be perfectly acceptable.

Lesson learned: get a low speed hand mixer, or at least a full-sized whisk. Have we mentioned that we’re living our first year together? Yeah. We have a whisk attachment to an immersion blender. That’s what we have for a whisk. (We can’t wait to upgrade our kitchen supplies, seriously.) Needless to say, whisking it took some effort. Andrew is a hero.

We tried it — and it was delicious.

When we first saw how much we made, were both on the same page: it’s good for a one-time try, if we don’t like it, dump it out. But that absolutely did not happen. It was so good, we ended up using all of it even though it’s only good for a week. So, what I’m trying to say is that we lived off tuna salad (made with homemade mayonnaise!) for a week. And it was amazing.

Andrew’s first tuna melt — he was not disappointed.

Want the recipe? Find it here!

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